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LAWREE
19

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ayan, ang tagal tagal na rin pala simula nung huling binisita ko tong blogger kong to. buti nalang, kahit na nilangaw na sa kawalan ng laman, eh di ko pa rin binura.

ang saya magread back ng blog. pero mas masaya pag nabasa mo yung blog ng taong kilala mo tas yung pagkatao niya sa blog na yun, hindi malayo sa kung paano niya pinakilala niya yung sarili niya sayo. ansaya. ang overwhelming ng feeling na biglang out of the blue, biglang anlaki ng tiwala sayo ng isang tao. tipong, makwekwento niya na sayo buong buhay niya sa isang upuan. Likewise, ganun din yung feeling ng kapag walang hesitation, makwkwento mo buong buhay mo sa taong yun.

sa totoo lang, first time lang ata ako nakapag-open ng ganun sa taong hindi ko naman talaga close. Ayan tuloy close na kami. Ang saya, andami kong natututunan... andami kong narerealize. Ang pinakamahalaga dun, natutunan ko maging vocal sa nararamdaman ko which is isang impossibleng bagay kung kilala mo talaga ako, kasi unang una yung lumang version ng sarili ko idedeny pa ng todo todo kung ano man yung nararamdaman ko. Oo pranka akong tao pero pagdating sa feelings, wala. mas maasahan mo pa ang paglitaw ng blue moon kesa sa sabihin ko/pakita/paramdam ko sayo yun.


At dahil nga sa honesty na yun, ngayon, ang saya saya ko. No regrets.

On another note,gusto ko lang magpasalamat sa maraming tao.

Thanks

YOU- For the roller coaster of emotions you made me feel. I really did enjoy the whole ride. Yes getting hurt was in the package but wouldnt the ride be worth if it isnt included.

1. Mahirap maghabol sa mga bagay na maiilap, kaa dapat sa umpisa pa lang, kahit mahirap, pinipilit mahalin.
2. Napatunayan kong tama talaga si Rizal, di ka makakarating sa paroroonan kung limot mo na ang iyong pinanggalingan.
3. Pag naunahan ka ng kaba, talo ka na.
4. Mahalaga mag strategize kung sino tatabihan mo at kung sino ang lalayuan mo sa mga kaklase mo. Pero masaya parin talaga kung maraming friends.
5. Tumawa lang at makiride sa mga jowk, kasi for sure, before/during/after exams depress-depressan mode na
6. Napakagasgas na ng linya na: BABAWI AKO.
7. Ang math ay parang pag-ibig:komplikado - di parating simpleng substitusyon lang ang solusyon.
8. Mahalaga na mag set ng mga tamang boundaries. Delikado kasi kung magkakamali -nakakamatay.
9. Di ko malilimutan ang mga kaabang abang na quotes sa damit ni Sir. Panalo yung, "Ang pag-ibig ay parang ulan kung kelan di ka handa saka ito bubuhos ng malakas.... kung kelan naman nageenjoy ka na saka ito titila". Pero ang the best talaga ay yung, hihihihihihhihihihihbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrr. hehe
10. Higit sa lahat di ko makakalimutan ang chant na; "di ka papasa, di ka papasa". Ang ewan, nakakakaba lang talaga. Hehe.

I just bought myself a new cellphone. Err .I lost my phone again. Same scene. I was strolling around grove, uplb, stopped somewhere for sometime and then pufff!

i love you

i hope that you're listening 'cause it's true

You'll be forever my heart and i know no one else will do

This was the song that has been playing on repeat in my head since i came home from the house of my deceased ninang. She died tonight after a hard battle against breast cancer. It's sad i never got to see her this Christmas. It's sad because she's a generous person and a thoughtful ninang. At one point, I regret having an unpersonal bond with her despite all the generosity and thoughtfulness and concern she always had for me.But I'll be missing her for sure.


******
Some random thoughts on Death

If I could direct how I my life would end, I would'nt want it to end so dreadfully slow. Perhaps, I would like to die in an instant of a heroic act. I wouldnt want to die in an accident. That would be dreadful plus I dont want my corpse looking anything but lovely. So no tragic accident for me.

*****

Please pray for the soul of my Ninang Glo, may she rest in peace.

This blog has been dead for quite some time. Blame the lack of internet access in elbi. Err - computer shops abound the campus so honestly, it's really my procrastination that had this blog gone dead for a time. I guess or at least it's one of the many factors. Say, another factor for having such blank blog entries would be the lack of inspiration.

Oh yeah right. Lack of inspiration - the romantic excuse for being unproductive.

Anyway, this is the time of the year when I am mostly inspired to write. Today's my birthday. Some introspection is just timely. Plus a new year is to come.

And time indeed flies faster when you are unaware of it. Count one year and a day back, and you would find me strolling mindlessly in megamall, troubled by the thought that no one had remembered that it would be my 18thbirthday on the 28th(which is, as norms dictates, is an important phase in a girl's life -Whatever!!!! ) eventually i would be surprised and be touched because after all some emotional distress due to my disappointments over my friends, i'd realized that they havent forgot after all. There was a surprise. They had it all planned.

That was my 18th.

Today is my 19th.

In that span of time, lots of things have happened in my life. I've found new friends who in their ways are truly unique,met altruistic people who inspired me to incinerate my passions for whatever i am into,got a somehow clearer picture of what i want to become in the future,realized some more dreams,learned a little more about the life and death, have been less apathetic.

Today, I am 19.

This is my last year as a teenager. OMG!

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